So you guys know how I feel about the public pools. Germ infested, hot, crowded, no shade, nastiness that makes my OCD go into overdrive for 24 hours of non-stop hand washing and heavy bleach use. So where did I take the girls this afternoon? Yeah. God I am such a sucker. It was warm, the kids were asking to go and I’m too tired at this point of summer vacation to put up much of a fight. So off we went.
And truthfully, it wasn’t awful. There were some clouds to break up the unrelenting heat. It wasn’t overly crowded and the girls were having fun. That is until we had been there for about an hour and a half and Mad swam over to me and told me that she was pretty sure that someone had pooped on one of the pool slides. Huh. Ebola outbreak. I asked if she was sure..maybe it was just grass or dirt from bare feet? Nope..for sure poop. I told her to go tell the lifeguard, who in turn told her to go tell another lifeguard, and meanwhile people are going down the slide by the dozens and oh my God I knew it I knew it I knew it. One lifeguard wanders over, has a look and yells, “There’s nothing there!”. Of course there’s not, it’s on the backs and butts of the last 12 people to go down the slide and into the water. Jesus Jesus Jesus. I hauled the girls out and to the car in about 20 seconds flat. Home, towels, suits and every inch of them scrubbed.
Could she have been wrong? Maybe. But the kid knows poop, being an expert pooper like she is. And she’s not prone to flights of fancy. If she says the slide was a shit shute, I’m a believer. I’m done y’all. I can not do this one more time this year. The soggy diapers, people in street clothes, the mother who announced loudly that if nothing else, the chlorine is good for killing lice, since nothing else seemed to work for her. Good bye, pool. You and I need a break. A year long break.
